Episode Thirty-One: It's Hard to Say Goodbye to a Yesterday That Is Still Tomorrow

The final episode of Inspirational Decency. Oh, the hijinx! I spelled it with an "x" because it's funkier that way and lets people know that I'm extremely punk rock!

Airdate: August 14, 2011.

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Episode Thirty: The Fjord of Increased Productivity

A boss conducts an exit interview. A man both understands and doesn't understand a few things. Then Darren explains why he doesn't do the afterparty.

Airdate: August 7, 2011.

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Episode Twenty-Nine: Take That, Gordon Lightfoot

A man offers a linguistics lesson. Another man offers a lesson in writing folk songs. Then Darren ends the show by discussing the split between high and low-brow listeners. (Not "high" listeners, who are evergreen and beloved.)

Airdate: July 31, 2011.

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Episode Twenty-Eight: Young Republican Dance Party

A man tells you both who he is and how it is. A friendly game of frisbee takes quite a turn. A moving eulogy is delivered. Then Darren ends the show by discussing Spike Lee and a forgotten classic by Trooper.

Airdate: July 24, 2011.
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Episode Twenty-Seven: Hab Haberdash's Haberdashery

Another edition of Darren's DVD Enclave, followed by a man trying, and failing, to recall the plot of Hamlet.

Airdate: July 17, 2011.
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Episode Twenty-Six: Sex Breakfast

Darren complains about being unable to find love. Yet again. Then he reads from his wikipedia entry. Then he ends the show by explaining his prolonged absence from the airwaves.

Airdate: July 10, 2011.
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Episode Twenty-Five: Lemonade Soup

A man takes you on a tour of the Southeastern New Brunswick Hockey Hall of Fame. Then a Nobel Laureate attempts to deliver his acceptance speech.

Airdate: July 3, 2011.
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Episode Twenty-Four: If You Ain't Yellin', You Ain't Sellin'

A man explains the secret to high-powered salesmanship. Then an esteemed Canadian actor gives you a sneak peek at his upcoming one-man show about a celebrated author.

Airdate: June 26, 2011.
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Divorce My Daddy Redux!

A repeat of the Divorce My Daddy! episode. Enjoy again or for the first time or for the last time!

Airdate: June 19, 2011.
Original airdate: April 17, 2011.

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Episode Twenty-Three: A Last Feverish Gasp of Blackened Air

Darren gives you nothing less than the story of the beginning of the universe.

Airdate: June 12, 2011.
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Episode Twenty-Two: Metaphorical Back Surgery

A man cleanses his soul with the help of his local priest.

Airdate: June 5, 2011.
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Episode Twenty-One: Open Season On Love

A special one-hour "best-of" special compiling the "best" of Inspirational Decency's first twenty episodes. Including such classics as "Old Man Hates Gravy", "Koala With Breasts", and "Mr. Excited", who-wait for it- is almost never excited!

Airdate: May 29, 2011.
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Episode Twenty: Fresh Meat for the Furnace

Darren reads the first couple of pages of his memoirs. A man informs you of some problems he is struggling with. Another man tries to remember the cause of World War I. Then Darren concludes the episode by discussing various subjects, including the emotional makeup of bears.

Airdate: May 22, 2011.
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Episode Nineteen: Get Ripped or Get Flipped

Darren unveils a new movie-review segment. A word from our leader. An advertisement for an exciting local event. Then Darren ends the show by discussing various matters, including small novelty coffins.

Airdate: May 15, 2011.
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Episode Eighteen: Stale Pork Essence

Darren rather disdainfully gives his listeners some fashion advice. Then he recounts an episode from his family history. Another man helpfully explains the cultural significance of cupcakes. Then Darren ends the show with an eventful conversation with his piano player.

Airdate: May 8, 2011.
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Episode Seventeen: People Are Not Good People

The saga of one man's reentry into the world. Gripping, dumb.

Airdate: May 1, 2011.
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Episode Sixteen: The Brag Arts

Darren informs you that he is good at the thing he does. An excerpt from a classic guide to acting. Darren reviews a new DVD release. Another excerpt from a classic guide to acting. Then Darren ends the show by discussing various topics, imagining in the process what Punk'd would have been like in vaudeville days. Timely reference!

Special guest: Jonathan Gaboury.

Airdate: April 24, 2011.
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Episode Fifteen: Divorce My Daddy!

A very special episode in which Darren presents the Beverage Soap and Family Sanitizer Theatre radio production of the hit 1944 film Divorce My Daddy! Original airdate: January 10, 1945.

Special guests in order of appearance: Matthew Scribner, Jonathan Gaboury, Amanda Balsys, Kate Hallemeier and Sarah Allux.

Airdate: April 17, 2011.
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Episode Fourteen: The Thick Oil of Human Tragedy

Darren reads and responds to some letters from his loyal listeners. There is an inspirational rap meant to help you come to terms with life. We learn a few things about a famous woman. There is an ad for a local newscast. A famous man fills you in on what he's been up to. Then Darren wraps up the show by discussing various topics, including an unofficial rule of the dramatic arts and the sinister marshmallow-puff lobby.

Special guests in order of appearance: Jaime Forsythe, James Goddard, Lachlan MacDonald, Matthew Scribner, Mark Streeter and Sarah Allux.

Airdate: April 10, 2011.
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Episode Thirteen: The Downhill Institute of Not-Upwards

Darren essentially gives you his life story up to now. No kidding.  He talks and talks! Did I mention he talks? Talk he does! A lot!

Airdate: April 3, 2011.
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Episode Twelve: A Gleaming Staff of Hottest Mercury

Darren steadfastly denies that he has a problem. We hear a selection from the Canadian National Radio Archives from 1965 featuring Prime Minister Lester B. Pearson. Then Darren ends the show, trying all the while not to wake up his grandmother. Doesn't sound like enough stuff for a whole episode, does it? And yet there you have it!

Airdate: March 27, 2011.
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Episode Eleven: Neckerchiefs Neckerchiefs Neckerchiefs

A man we have never met before, and whose name remains unknown to us, recounts the glorious, centuries-old history of this radio program. A 911 call takes an interesting turn. A man rather rudely interrupts a literary reading. Then Darren ends the show with a discussion of his own personal bellhop Gregor and the unusual ways in which he relaxes.

Special guests: Wendy Huot and Jonathan Gaboury.

Airdate: March 20, 2011.
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Episode Ten: A Todger of the Tubes

Darren explains in great detail how all of you have angered him. Another man explains the situation he's in. A third man reads his will from beyond the grave. A fourth man attempts to recount the plot of Citizen Kane, and largely fails. Then Darren ends the show with a description of his new R&B alterego.

Airdate: March 13, 2011.
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Episode Nine: The Shameful Throb of Generations

A radio critic hijacks the opening to give his appraisal of the program. A radio show devoted to film is interrupted by a surprise guest. A man tries to remember the plot of E.T. An ad for a new movie is heard. Then Darren concludes the show by discussing subjects great and small, quoting in the process an old saying about the mouth and the lips.

Special guest: Amanda Balsys.

Airdate: March 6, 2011.
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Episode Eight: Abdominal Syrup

Darren describes the most repulsive monster known to humankind. A man tries to remember Monty Python's "dead parrot" sketch. A hockey game takes a surprising turn. A man (the same man from before?) tries to remember Abbott and Costello's "Who's On First?" routine. Then Darren closes the show by telling a tale involving Andrew Dice Clay and the public library.

Special guests: Steve Guy and Matthew Scribner.

Airdate: February 27, 2011.
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Episode Seven: Dear God, the Wainscoting

Darren remembers a certain terrible thing that we will never forget.  A radio personality interviews a member of a rather unusual local group. Some music from Sly and the Family Stone is heard. You are told what is airing on television tomorrow night. Then Darren ends the show by discussing such topics as Pinkerton detectives and lint.

Special guest: Mark Streeter.

Airdate: February 20, 2011.
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Episode Six: The Thick Creamy Pudding of Apathy

Darren complains at some length about his roommate, who is also his cat. An early, drastically different version of Waiting for Godot is discussed, with excerpts. An actor plots his comeback.

Note: As with last week's episode, this one was broadcast live as part of CFRC's funding drive, which means there are live elements not included on this edited version.  For the full thing, visit cfrc.ca and access the archives. Thank you to anyone who donated to the station. If you didn't, maybe it's time to put your very soul under the microscope. Do not flinch at what you may see.

Special guests: Kate Hallemeier, Jonathan Gaboury and Mark Streeter, with technical support from James Goddard.

Airdate: February 13, 2011.
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Episode Five: Magical Massacre Music Box

Darren solves a murder in an unexpected way. A public radio host interviews an oral storyteller. There is some music. That's about it.

Note: This episode was broadcast live as part of CFRC's fundraising drive, which means there were live elements that are not included in this edited version. For the full thing, you might visit cfrc.ca and access the archives if you're so inclined. And while you're there, donate to CFRC!

Special guest: Kate Hallemeier.

Airdate: February 6, 2011.
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Episode Four: The Sport of Kings, The Folly of Dukes

Darren talks at some length about football and its hallowed history. A man apologizes to his angry wife while avoiding certain details. Darren reads from chapter two of his novel. Then he concludes the show in a discussion that involves a fairly condescending reference to McCall's magazine and the surprising intersection between pulp fiction and Archie comics.

Airdate: January 30, 2011.
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Episode Three: Elegant Knuckles

Darren reflects on his advancing age and begs, nay demands, one of his listeners to marry him.  A tutorial is given on the art of establishing just the right chemistry between two characters in a comedy sketch. Darren reads from chapter one of the novel he's working on, although he does not supply the listener with a title. Finally, he concludes the episode by reflecting on how great this episode was, denouncing the act of shoeless dumpster diving in the process.

Airdate: January 23, 2011.
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Episode Two: Kraft Macaroni and Cheese For the Soul

Darren desperately beseeches his listeners to form a blessed union of souls with him, or some such.  A local youth is campaigned both for and against.  An edition of our literary segment Book Blast in which a man has interesting things to say about dealing with negative emotions.  Then Darren wraps things up by discussing various topics, including his time as United Nations Secretary General, although he might have said "Attorney General" by mistake. I'm not sure. I've actually never heard the show.

Airdate: January 16, 2011.
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Episode One: A Cold, Cruel, Harsh Mistress

Darren tells you what to expect from the show. There is a brief ad from one of our sponsors. A 1933 radio address from Prime Minister Richard Bennett offers a solution of sorts to the Depression. A dimwitted man expounds on the nature of truth. Then Darren ends the show at some length.

Air date: January 9, 2011.
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